Holy Crap! An Update!

Thirteen things that I have been doing when I should have been updating here.

1. Blowing my nose. Every. Five. Seconds. It is hard to type when you are walking around honking into a crumpled tissue like weird old Uncle Lou who wears his polyester, plaid pants pulled right up under his saggy man-boobs.

2. Schleping my daughter to work with me. We have all been passing around the same snotty, goopy, painful affliction. Whoever is oozing and wheezing the least goes into my store. When I go in, the small fry goes too. Man, do we get a lot of work done.

3. Trying to sell my store . Wanna' buy it? Really. You would be great at it. (I have a very promising candidate right now. I am soliciting prayers and the crossing of fingers, toes, and other crossable appendages. Oh please let it work out.)

4. My son's science fair project. It is due Friday. We have not exactly...um...done..anything yet. Crap.

5. Playing referee to two kids who are too sick to go to school, but too unsick to be home. Actual exchanges this week:

Daughter: Cough. Cough. Hack.

Son: COVER YOUR MOUTH! I don't want your stupid germs.

Daughter: DON'T YOU TALK TO ME!

Son: Cough. Wheeze. Hack.

Daughter: Cover your mouth.

-------------------------------------

Daughter: (breathing)

Son: Stop it.

Daughter: (breathing)

Son: I said stop it.

Daughter: (More breathing)

Son: STOP IT!

Me: Hey! Stop yelling at your sister.

Son: But mom, she's snarfuling.

Snarfuling? I listened more carefully. She was snarfuling.


6. Getting our new website up and running. We are now finally taking credit cards. It only took two weeks of pleading and bargaining...cursing and cajoling with the credit card processing thing. You'd think they would have the process a little more streamlined seeing as that is WHAT THEY DO! Anywoo... (Don't you hate it when people type anywhoo. You know they never actually say it...why type it? Anywhoo..)

7. Tripping over my still unpacked suitcase from our visit back to CA. Add to that scrounging for something...anything...to wear, since I have not yet done my laundry. I'm about down to a pair of acid-washed jeans and a New Kids on the Block t-shirt.

8. Letting my brain be bipolar....My husband got a great job in CA. We can go home! Woo Hoo!...He starts July 15...how in the world will we sell my store...our house...move...Ack. I'm ecstatic. I'm freaked. I'm partying. I hyperventilatng.

9. Reading other blogs - the ones where people actually bother to stagger in and update every so often....unlike some other crappy blog I know of. <---me. I mean me.

10. Dieting. My husband and I have jumped on the Loose-my-big-fat-butt bandwagon. We are doing the age-old calorie counting diet. According to the formula I get like, a Triscuit and a grape for the whole day, a-la the Olsen twins. I blew my whole day yesterday by putting peanut butter on my english muffin. Those little packs of diet cookies and crakers with only 100 calories per pack are not half bad....especially, when you eat two or three packs with a Frappucino.

11. Procrastinating on a growing pile of emails I need to return. If you emailed me about a blog t-shirt and I didn't get back to you...I am not rude and inconsiderate. I promise. Just overwhelmed. I have all of the emails saved in a folder to respond to. I will do it soon. I will. Also the lovely lady who emailed me about living near my store and wanting to meet up for coffee. I have your email flagged to reply to also. I am not lame. Really.

12. Handing my daughter tissues. Or scraping crusty boogers off of her face. Or my shoulder. Yes, my life is just as glamourous as it sounds.

13. Awww, crap. I don't have a number thirteen...and it's late....and I'm tired (whine, sniffle)...so I will just insert a random fact for you to enjoy...
There are more chickens than people in the world. Discuss.

Happy Thursday Thirteen. Sorry I am an absentee blogger. I would promise to get better at updating, but you know from past experience, I lie!





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