A Big, Heaping, Steaming Pile Of....

Kelly at Diary of the Nello does the Friday Wrap over at her blog, and I've loosely used that as the basis for this entry. Does it count as stealing if I mutilate it so badly it is unrecognizable? If it does, I'll have to live with myself, and extend my apologies to Kelly...wait, I think I'll apologize to her anyway for the warped representation of her good idea about to follow....

I present to you The Calgon-Take-Me-Away-Crappy-Happenings-Update. Catchy name, huh?

For those of you playing along at home, my husband is in CA for his big interview. It started at 9:00. It is 3:30 CA time and he is still interviewing. Good sign, right? But killer on my nerves.

My husband left for said interview Saturday afternoon, to spend a leisurely weekend visiting with family on someone else's dime. Good plan except for the fact that both kids came down with some hideous disease that involved a 104 degree fever, sore throat, cough, and upset stomach. My son has not left his room since Thursday night. No kidding. Well, there was the one very pitiful forced shower to wash the blue hair gel out of his hair (he dressed as Thing 1 from The Cat in the Hat for a Dr. Suess's birthday celebration at school.) But other than to use the bathroom, he has not budged since Thursday. I go in and roll him over every so often to prevent bedsores.

My daughter is dealing with her illness a little differently. As in...I can not leave her side for one tiny, millisecond to do anything, EVER. Fun times. After I got her all tucked in, fully doped up, she appeared in my room at 12:30 AM feeling rather awful. We were up nursing her fever and sick tummy until 7:30 AM. Yes, you read that right. We then took a catnap until 9:15 AM and got up to face the day. As you can imagine, we are both coping spectacularly.

My son finally made a request for some real food today: Taco Bell. Which he ate still laying prostrate in his bed. When I checked on him a bit later, he was laying practically on top of his remaining food...just as I knew he would be.
"Honey, why are you laying in the food. You could have cleaned it up, you know."
His reply "I didn't know what to do with it."
And recuperating on it seemed like the best plan. Oh my sweet, lazy, lazy boy.

I have also written and mailed my letter to straighten out a huge tax mess, started to work on financial statements to sell my store, and been insulted by the person doing the screenprinting for the T-shirt company we are starting. I don't enjoy being insulted by people I am paying. I don't enjoy being insulted on less than two hours of sleep.

Amidst all the fun I've been having my husband calls.
"Hey, well, we just got out of church and now we're off to get some lunch. Then we are going to go watch the Pay-per-View UFC fight my brother recorded. What are you up to?"
"Oh, you know, the usual. Haven't showered in two days or eaten since yesterday. Wearing a t-shirt that says 'Nothing Tips Like a Cow - Wisconsin' that is covered with the sticky purple Tylenol your daughter refused to swallow."
"Oh. Well, I'll give you a call after lunch."
"Maybe you better not."
"What?"
"Oh, I just mean go..uh..enjoy yourself." Forced chuckle.
"Oh. Alright. Bye."
"Bye."

So here I sit, with a house that looks like a mobile home park after a tornado, one semi-sick kid, one apparently bedridden kid, a needy dog, and still no interview news. I will update when the situation changes.