Friday, March 03, 2006

The Bah-gyna Monologues

Okay, so the day arrived where I was forced to share the proper terms for genitalia (cringe, hack) with my daughter.

"Mommy, I have a junk."

"No, honey, girls don't have junk. You have a Vah-Gi-Nah. Girls have a Vah-Gi-Nah. Boys have a Peee-Nis." (Call me a prude, but the technical terms just ...well, ewww is all.)

"I have a Bah-Gyna?"

"Yes, you have a vagina. Moving on then..."



"Daddy has a Bah-Gyna." Giggle. Giggle.

Snort. "Funny. Nope daddy has a penis."

"Bah-gyna. Bah-gyna. Bah-gyna."

"Right. Okay. Let's get the shampoo out of your hair."

"Mommy. Knock. Knock."

"Who's there?"


"Pony who?"

"Pony purple." (She is a knock, knock joke master, no?)

"Ah Haha Haha. Good one, hon."

"Mommy. Knock, knock"

Sigh. "Who's there?"

"Bah-Gyna." Giggle. Giggle.

"Vagina who?" Deep sigh.

"Bah-Gyna Peeenis!"

And so begins her career in stand up.

"Okay, mommy has a joke for you now."


"A vagina walks into a bar. Sits down next to a rabbi and a priest..."

"Hey!" My husband interjects from the other room. "Okay. Joke time is over. Time for bed."



"You have a Bah-Gyna."


Blogger Fidget said...

sigh.. they dont have a solution fo rthis in the body science series either... we are having breast problems, namely Mira thinks everyone has milk and should nurse all babies and that its ok to touch everyones boos. I read her Breasts but now she's taking about having her own baby and milk (le sigh)

11:08 AM  
Anonymous rhonda said...

"Mom, I have a junk" HA HA HA HA HA. THAT IS HILARIOUS! Makes me kinda wish my daughter would say that to me just so I could laugh so hard!

11:22 AM  
Anonymous Kristen said...


I love the Bahgyna Penis.

12:29 PM  
Blogger J's Mommy said...

hahahahaha!!! can't wait to have that conversation. not!!!

8:06 PM  
Anonymous C.M.Chase said...

HAHAH!!! I laughed out loud on the knock-knock joke.

I might need to steal that one for my next cocktail party...

11:26 PM  
Anonymous Dariana said...

Popped in via BlogMad tonight. Hello! Hello!

8:45 PM  
Blogger IzzyMom said...

Man...Bah Gyna is hysterical. Isn't it funny how they're so uninhibited?

Just yesterday my daughter goes "Peebs (my son) has a peeeeenis. Heeheehee!"

I know she learned this proper terminology from her pal because her pal also told her that there are boy Barbie dolls that "have their penis' cut off". Nice, eh?

I, too, have a hard time with those proper names for body parts, as noted in this post on my blog. I don't know why but those words make my toes curl. Anyone else can say them and I don't care but if I have to...yichhhhhhh!

12:23 AM  
Blogger Petite Mom Blogger said...

oh wow...too cute...I'm not ready for that conversation yet! I have 2 boys!

10:00 AM  
Blogger Emily said...

lol...I try to teach them the technical words too, but they are so younger daughter used to call it her "china"....ahh, it was lovely..LOL

2:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

my 2 and a half year old says that when she will be a mommy she will nurse rebecca (her sister) too. I try to tell her that no, when she will be big she will nurse her own kids because rebecca will be big too. she always looks at her tummy and says "these are my nursees. when i'll be a big mommy, I'll nurse Rebecca too...Lol, its quiet hilarious.

11:50 PM  
Anonymous mooalex said...

Too funny! Here from blogmad...

7:52 AM  
Blogger Denial said...

How precious!!! Now how do I explain man boobs to my soon?

9:22 AM  
Blogger yllwdaisies said...

hahaha. Oh my! I can't believe I read this post AT WORK! I was trying so hard not to laugh. But I'm just cracking up inside! Cracking up, I tell you!

1:24 PM  

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