Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Today's forecast: slightly crabby with a chance of fits.

My daughter is in rare form today. She is cranky. I mean head-spinning, pea-soup-spitting cranky. The kind of bad attitude that makes you want to put the cereal on a shelf where she can reach it and head for the hills. She is a hormonal teenager trapped in a teensy two year old body.

She was helping me empty the dishwasher and wanted to put the soap in. I told her to hold on. She needed to put the last two cups away first. She stormed across the kitchen and muttered. "Affanculo!" For those who don't know, that is pretty much the equivalent of "F- You!" in Italian.
"Hey! That is not a nice word!" I said.
She turned and looked at me like I still needed help tying my own shoes and said, "I. Know."
Well then.
Where does a two year old get a potty mouth like that? Must be the parenting. Losers. In her defense, she has no idea what it means. I am Italian and use it when a situation warrants it, (like when we have no chocolate in the house) for the very reason, that she doesn't know what it means...nor do most people in the checkout line at the grocery store, thankfully. My extended family, however, does know what it means, which should make for some entertaining moments at our reunion this summer. I can hardly wait.

My only consolation is that she has preschool today. Sure it's only for two measly hours, but still. Ahhhhh. Quiet. She can inflict her wrath on her two saccharine sweet preschool teachers. I'm counting down the minutes. In fact, the way she is acting now, I may not even stop the car. Just cruise on by at a slow roll and boot her little behind out of her carseat. Tuck and roll, honey. Tuck and roll.

Before you get your panties all in a wad...of course, I am joking. I would never push my daughter out of a moving car. If you want to call child welfare for something, that is not it. Now if you want to call about the fact that my son once went 7 days straight without bathing or my daughter once ate her dinner off the floor like a dog*....well, I can't blame you there.

*Disclaimer: It was her choice. It was out of her bowl on her placemat. It was cereal. Trix. The low sugar version. Okay? Are you happy? Sheesh.


Blogger MrsFortune said...

There's a low sugar Trix? Awesome. :-0

That whole swearing in other languages thing will make her really popular in Junior High, which is awesome because unless you are, then you're in hell pretty much.

4:19 PM  
Anonymous Kristen said...

I was just going to write on this today. My daughter seems to have turned 13 and I didn't know about it...

5:44 PM  
Anonymous divinecalm said...

I wonder if she suddenly act completely happy when she goes to school. Seems like I was that way growing up. Parents certainly get the raw end of the deal.

10:48 AM  

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