Friday, February 17, 2006


"Still snowbound. Rations are running low. Very low. Dangerously low. The troops are starting to lose it. I don't know how much longer I can maintain order. The look in their eyes scares me. They are arguing amongst themselves. It has gotten violent. Our only hope is for the weather to break soon. Need reinforcements and food immediately to keep order..."

Some genius at my son's school decided to combine the useless Presidents' birthday holidays into a four day weekend. Great idea, Jackhole.

I have both kids trapped here all day. I really should have gone to the grocery store before our little blizzard here. Blows were thrown over the last fruit roll up.

I can't even order a freakin' pizza because no Dominoe's or Pizza Hut delivers to my podunk hole of a town. Well, one does. But only once a 5:30. And you have to order by 4:30. That doesn't help me now, does it?

Somebody bring me a damn pizza.

On a positive note, my husband just got called. He has a phone interview for the job that could be my (our) ticket home. Yeee Hahhh!

On a side note: Every time I write the word "freakin'" in an entry, the spell check offers to replace it with "foreskin". That would really mess with the context of things, wouldn't it? A foreskin pizza. Tasty. Thanks, but no thanks.

One more note: Nothing really, I just realized I had overly "noted" at the end there, and thought I'd add another.

Edited to add: To compound my misery, the doorbell rings. The kids freak out with excitement. It is UPS bringing a package. The box has the word "toys" written on it in huge letters on four sides. I kid you not. My kids are in hysterics. One problem. The package is not for us. Bastards. The UPS guy (who was wearing shorts, WTF?)dragged his ass out into the snow to screw up my day. Thankyouverymuch.

The package is for the previous owner of our house. It may "become" ours by the end of the day. So sue me. Desperate times, you know.


Blogger Silly Hily said...

I've noticed spell check trying to replace "freakin" with "foreskin" and accidentally clicked to change it one time. Thankfully I caught it though and was like NO, NO! Not "foreskin!" Ewww.

Also, I'm in Memphis and they are telling us that we are going to get ice all weekend (not snow, ICE!) and the slight mention of "wintry" precip here sends everyone in a mad dash to the grocery store. I just got back from getting milk and bread. Hope that lasts. (Now watch, nothing will happen.)
Good luck with the pizza.

12:07 PM  
Blogger Valerie said...

Damn - that's one small town to have a scheduled pizza delivery once a day. That would drive me insane!

And a foreskin pizza?! OMG, thanks for the laugh. That is funny, but I'm thinking not exactly what you're looking for. You haven't been stranded THAT long, have you? ;-)

12:12 PM  
Anonymous Kristen said...

I had to laugh out loud at the foreskin pizza. Yuummmmmyyyy. And seriously, I'm all about keeping it - if they don't come claim it by the end of the day, it's yourrsss...

PS Will you put my button on your blog? I'll send you some French Onion dip... :)

1:47 PM  
Blogger Emily said...

I have noticed several times in my blog that my tendacy to use the word freakin may some day cause me to accidentally have a post about foreskin....weird blogger....isn't is also weird that BLOGGER'S spell check doesn't know words like Blog, blogger or blogging? LOL

I say the toys are fair game...I mean...sometimes people open packages and "forget" to read who its too...esspecially kids that see the word toys....LOL

9:30 AM  
Blogger Fidget said...

ah yes the Freakin foreskin quandry. I have mighty problems with that and the consant want of the spell checker to turn my 2 year old Tessa's name into "tease" ... not. yet. PLEASE

schedualed pizza delivery? Ye gods, I would shrivel up and die

7:48 AM  
Blogger kfk said...

I say the statute of limitations on relaying the message of an address change to your family and friends is way under the 9 months you've been living there. So, that box marked "toys" is fair game!

11:07 AM  

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