Monday, January 30, 2006

Hump Removal. Less Lovely Lady Lumps.

Yes, that is a reference to this hideous Black-Eyed Peas song. Check it out, if you must. But anyway....

I'm on a mission to lose the 10 pounds that have slowly crept up on me as of late. This is going to involve a little discomfort - seeing as how I HATE exercise and can't change my eating habits to save my life.

I am motivated by the fact that I am growing an extra belly roll. Yep, extra. I have had the standard mommy-roll since having my son. You know the mommy-roll - the extra flap of skin your body acquires after a pregnancy. The one that doesn't go away no matter how much weight you lose. The wobbly bit that you have to actively decide whether to tuck into your pants or to let it flop over. The mommy-roll. Please tell me you know what I mean. Please? Ahem...
So, as I was saying. I am now developing an extra. I don't have use for the first pile of squishiness and I certainly don't want a second. It is time to take some action. (I refuse to acknowledge the 456 other times I have made this exact vow. Warm ups. Dress rehearsal for the real deal. My own personal Extreme Makeover. Ok, more like a minor remodeling, but still...)

So, due to the fact that I loathe exercise, I can pretty much rule out the gym. I've tried walking, jogging, and my own treadmill in the past. No go. Do you know the amount of energy it takes to run? Too much exertion.

I need something that doesn't appear to be exercise. I have a few belly dancing DVD's that I like, but that is not enough....I like the idea of kickboxing....and shaking my booty (and saddlebags, and jiggly thighs). So off to Amazon.com I went. After searching through pages and pages of firming and flattening offerings (filed under the category of Screwing the Pudgy Out of Their Money in Five Easy Steps), I have 5 brand spankin' new, bun tightening DVD's on the way. I won't get into all of my choices, but I will say one included the words "tahitian dance". So by Friday, I'll be shaking my coconuts and losing the rolls.

Now since I am known to be a slimy little flake, who comes up with wonderful grand plans on an almost daily basis, but never follows through...I decided I needed some accountability. So here's how it works. I keep a my progress documented here daily. You then harass..I mean encourage me....keeping me on track. I call that my too-cheap-for-Weight-Watchers diet. I will weigh in every morning. My goal is to lose 10 pounds by April 5. 64 days, give or take. I will utilize one of my fancy new DVD's at least 4 days a week. I will log when I do...and when I do not.

It will look like this:
Pounds to lose:10
Pounds already lost:0
Exercise done: Shake Your Fanny - 35 minutes

So come on, help a girl out. Keep me on track. I'd do it for you. Probably. Well, I'd try, but I already told you, I am a flake.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Kristen said...

Hey -- I'm joining you -- the extra roll SUCKS... I'm trying to lose it before April 28 - my 10 year college reunion.

Although I don't mind the gym. I just joined one with childcare and it's great... I go almost everyday. My problem is the eating... NOT bad foods - but too much. I eat too fast and too much. DAMN. AND, my hubby and daughter have extremely high metabs - and they both need more fat and protein in their diet and I need less fat. So, it's hard eating around here...

PS I entered your google term for ya... :)

11:11 AM  
Blogger Meg said...

I'm with you as well! I just have a HORRIBLE problem with eating right and exercising. I get all dressed and pumped up to go, but then I decided a nap on the couch sounds like a better deal. Here's to losing the tenant that resides above the Mommy Roll!

9:40 PM  
Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Boy, would I ever love to know the names of those DVD's...I don't have a 'Mommy Roll", but I do have some rolls, and extra fat I'd like to "shake" off! (lol) I sure wish you luck!

I'm here cause of those wonderful auditions over at Wendy's! Nice to meet you!

9:46 PM  
Blogger IzzyMom said...

I wish I had some great advice or words of wisdom but I, too, am a slimy little flake full o' grand plans that never materialize. I'll just say good luck and shake that fanny!!

7:28 PM  
Blogger Mama! Mama! (Mel) said...

Thank you for the good luck wishes. So long mommy roll.

10:28 PM  

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