Roses are red. Violets are blue. My daddy's farts smell like....

Overheard while making dinner...

The Husband and The Girl discussing (of course) farts.

The Husband: Daddy's farts don't stink. They smell like roses.

The Girl: (with nary a pause) Yes they do! They smell like dead roses!

and also...

The Husband: Our computer server at work is having issues.

The Girl: Really Daddy? For real? (her new favorite saying)

The Husband: Really what?

The Girl: Your computer has shoes?

Get it? Issues...shoes...Ba dum bum!

The Girl. The comedian.

Check please....

A little background...My step-dad is in the hospital, in the ICU. He had a liver transplant about 2 years ago. He has fluid around his lungs. He has been in the ICU for over a month.

A few nights ago we loaded our freak parade in the old SUV and headed off to Red Robin. My daughter(3 yo)was wearing a full on Princess costume, pink My Little Pony Tiara, striped knee socks, and black Hello Kitty penny loafers (?). My son (9yo)carried a large bottle of Tums (long story).

During dinner my daughter asked if she kissed Papaw (my step-dad) if she could "catch his sick." I assured her that she couldn't and she asked why not. I began to tell her that some kinds of sick you can't catch from people. "Like cancer, you can't catch. And like So-and-So's diabetes. You can't catch," I assured her.

She seemed satisfied and sat silently absorbing the new information. Then my son piped up with...

"Genital herpes is a disease."

Blink. Ahem.

"What?"

"Genital Herpes is a disease...and there is no cure."

An expectant hush fell on the tables surrounding ours.

"Erm...yes....it....is."

But then I recovered. A bit.

"Yea, but you can still hike, kayak, and rock climb."

So the commercial says.