Bah Freakin' Humbug!

This day blew. Monumentally sucked.
Bank account overdrawn. Way overdrawn.
Dog barfing in kitchen.
Two year old decided to go nap free.
Didn't get any work done.
Face breaking out.

Remind me why I gave up caffeine again? Oh, yeah, the two giant zits that have set up camp on my face after my last run in with a Peppermint Mocha.

2:00, still in my pj's. I can't pick up my son in my pj's. Sure dropping him off in my jammies at 8 am is one thing, but 3:15 with ratty old pj's and raccoon eyes is another.

Forced myself to dress and even put on some makeup. Retrieved son.

The dentist called. I have forgotten to pick up my retainer. Yes, I am 28 years old with a retainer. I need to pick it up. "You'd be surprised how quickly your teeth will move without it," she said. No, I wouldn't.

Nothing to make for dinner. 7:30 the kids eat cereal for dinner. We are in the midst of the nightly homework ordeal. One hour and 25 minutes for two stupid worksheets. Was that a gray hair sprouting?

Check the pantry for dinner for myself. Nothing looks interesting. I eat nothing. Have been eating next to nothing lately and still have gained weight. How the heck does that work?

My cell phone has been MIA for 3 days now. Feel naked without it. I know it's in the house. I heard it beeping the first day.

Kiddos finally tucked in. I have a buttload of work to get done. Decide on bubble bath and alcohol instead. We don't drink. We own no alcohol. None. Manage to scrounge up a small bottle of champagne from a wedding we went to last year. Score.

Overfilled bath with cold water. Damn. Waiting for hot water heater to heat my next batch. Look for glass for champagne. Fancy glass waaaaay up in cabinet full of things we never use. Pour champagne into red plastic cup.

Bath is ready. Just like a luxury spa, well....except for the Dora the Explorer bath toy I sat on (OUCH) and the mounds of laundry silhouetted in the candle light.

Only 9 hours and I get to do it all over again. Bartender! I'm going to need a refill in my little red cup.

Rantings of a Fence Sitter

In life so many things are presented as either or...one or the other. Republican or Democrat....liberal or conservative....Coke or Pepsi?

In the world of mothering, there are two camps - the "stay-at-home-moms" and the "working moms". Both camps are equally adamant and equally vocal about who is making the better parenting choice. I came from the camp of the "stay-at home mom"...well, the subcategory of "work-at-home mom" to be exact. I was only a tiny bit self-righteous...shaking my head ever so slightly in pity for the kids who were dropped off of at school at 7:00 in the morning, not to be picked up until 5:30. I was raised by a single mom which, of course, equals "working mom" so I knew the other side as well.

I have realized, as of late, I am a misfit, out of place on either side of the fence. I own my own business, which of course I have to run...which would make me a "working mom" - but - I am only at the store one and a half days out of the week, doing all of my other work from home after the kids are asleep. I am home all day with my daughter....which would make me a "stay-at-home mom" - right?

Now this should not be considered a dilemma, in fact, it should be a non-issue. I said should be. Yet the "this-or-that", "either-or" phenomena pushes its way into my life whether I think it matters or not.

I have been nudged out of the "stay-at-home" mom group....
Can't make it to a parent-teacher conference at my daughter's preschool on a Tuesday - the only whole day I am in the store. Aside from the familiar glance full of pity cast toward my daughter (so that's what it looks like from this side), I get the offers to pick my daughter up to take her to the next field trip "so she won't miss out" What?!?! One freakin' day I can't make a school event and now my daughter needs an advocate?

"Melodee, seems nice. I wish she were around more." What?!? My ability to hibernate in my house makes even the most fervent recluse give an appreciative nod. Did I mention I only work Tuesday and half of Saturday?


Yet on the flip-side, I am not welcomed with open arms into the pack of "working moms" either. I don't need to find a good day care provider.
I don't have to haggle for a day off if my kids are sick or have a school play.
My deadlines are mostly self-imposed and I'm fairly confident that I will not fire myself.

So where does that leave me? I have no desire to be a member of either of these opposing teams. I would like the line drawn in the sand not to exist. I would like moms to cut each other a little slack. To not make assumptions and judgments and act in ways that are detrimental to the already fragile mommy self-confidence. How warm and fuzzy of me, right? I just think as moms we deal with amazing levels of guilt and responsibility already, without inflicting more on each other.....

Hey, who brought that soap box in here. Rant over...for today.

Someone should fine me for gross overuse of quotation marks. """"""

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thanksgiving is the time of year when we reflect on what we are most thankful for. I, of course, am thankful for the important things - my family, my health - but I wanted to put together my secondary list. Things I couldn't make it through a day without. Okay, maybe I could struggle through, but I wouldn't be happy about it. The list is as follows -

Things I am Thankful for:

1. The T.V.
I know all of the studies and research about how television is wrecking our children, but I honestly don't think there has been a single better invention in the realm of parenting. Call me a bad mom, but I view T.V as a lifesaver...a glowing beacon of hope in a world of "he's looking at me!" and "Mom, she's in my chair!" Think I'm exaggerating? We had a power outage a few weeks ago and I began to hyperventilate. "They" say limit television viewing to an hour a day..."they" say encourage imaginative play. Sure, fine. I say "they" don't fully appreciate the beauty of the 15 minutes of peace an episode of "Max and Ruby" brings.

2. The drive-thru
Almost anything can be made better with a drive-thru. Think about it. There is not much I appreciate more as mom than not waking up a crabby 2 year old to use the ATM or get a decaf caramel Frappucino. I don't have to haul both kiddos into and out of the car to get lunch in the rain. I can pick up antibiotics for a sick little one and drop off dry cleaning (not that I own anything that needs dry cleaning) all without leaving my car. You can't tell me that is not cool.

3. TiVo
For all my television worshipping, I actually watch very little myself. Having kids will do that to you. Now I can record and watch the few shows I do care about when it is convenient for me....and I can fast-forward through commercials! The only downside to this beautiful invention is the fact that my 2 year old thinks everything can be paused and rewound. Small price to pay to see CSI with no commercials after the kids are in bed.

Runners Up:
Wipes: Is there any emergency that can't be handled (at least temporarily) with a wet wipe? At the very least they protect an entire generation of kids from the spit on a tissue that most of us had to endure.

More to come...I am about to go enjoy another thing I am thankful for as a parent...sleep!

Please feel free to add what you are thankful for!

Another One Bites the Dust....

For those of you who have had the ...um...experience of being in our store when my kids were there, you know I am not exaggerating when I say they are crazy. My son is 8 and my daughter is 2. I thought with them being so far apart in age they wouldn't fight much. I was wrong. They fight all day, every day...every waking minute. They fight about everything.

Just yesterday in the car I witnessed this argument in disbelief:

My son, seeing dust bits glistening and floating in the sunlight, decided to pretend to eat it. (?) Snapping his mouth in the air like an animal and making eating noises, must have looked fun, because my daughter decided to join in. They were both "eating" dust for a minute and then...

Son: Hey that big piece was mine! You ate the big dust!

Daughter: I want big dust!

Son: It was mine!

Daughter: You have all the dust over there! I want more dust!

Son: You have dust...you have all the good ones!

I think you get the idea. This went on for another minute or so before, thankfully, I turned the car, the sun moved, and no one had any dust. Good thing too, because by that time the twitch in my eye was back.

I will spare you the details of their argument over whether Sprite is "clear" or "yellowish-clear". No kidding....I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

So what is the deal? Are my kids the only ones that argue like this? Does it ever end? Is the dust on the driver's side of the car fresher?